Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Isn't it love?

When I was a little girl, I had such an open heart. I was also incredibly oblivious to the idea of ever falling in love. I'm old( I guess) now and I'm more afraid of falling in love then almost anything in my life.

If I dig deep into myself, I'm completely and utterly head over heels in love with my boyfriend. I've never opened myself up to anyone as much as I have to him. I've also never fought falling in love with someone so much. It's as if I see the potential of an incredible relationship and it freaks me out to know that I could have that. Or that one day I could loose it. It scares me so much.

It's funny you know, the one I really need is the one thing I fight the most. Being heart from men for so long has made me protect myself like a castle against an army. I have bricks, a moat filled with sharks and crocodiles. I only let my bridge down if I feel safe. Like, really really safe. It's a daily battle. Literally, a mental battle to not run and hide from love.

It's such a brave thing to do, to fall in love. It's also an incredibly selfless path to be in a relationship. If it's a functioning relationship it takes hard work. Which I've come to understand is, understandable for such an amazing experience. An experience that almost everyone on this earth, whether consciously or subconsciously, searches for.

I hope we all get it, keep it and cherish it forever, because just as fast as it falls into your life, it can fall out.


  1. "To love would be an awfully big adventure."
    — J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)

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